Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts

Wednesday, 19 August 2015

Read Top 56 Facts You Need To Know About Women


Read Top 56 Facts You Need To Know About Women

A friend of mine shared this on his facebook wall and decide to share it with our readers. 

Are all these really true?

I will leave you to be the judge

1. Woman is the last thing God created and the only thing he did not plan to create.
2. Woman is the first creature to disobey God. 
3. Woman is the cause of all the problems, troubles we are having in the world today.
4. Woman is easily used by the devil.
5. Woman is like alcohol, if you take it too much, it  will destroy you.
6. Woman is like cell phone, any day you press the wrong number, you will not make calls.
7. For woman marriage is business.
8. Woman is naturally wicked.
9. Don't take it for granted when a woman threatens you. 
10. Woman likes money more than anything.
11. For woman,marriage is for better for stay, for worse for run away.
12. Woman is like flower, today it blossoms, tomorrow it fades away.
13. If you became poor, woman will give you only one year to recover.
14. You will never know the true nature of a woman until you become broke.
15. Woman can smell money from 1000 miles away.
16. Woman is like chameleon, she brings different characters.
17. Woman thinks straight.
18. Woman is unreliable.
19. Woman is proud.
20. Woman doesn't want to hear that you will be rich tomorrow, she want to hear that you're already rich.
21. Women like reaping where they did not sow.
22. Most times her Yes is No and her No is Yes.
23. No matter what you tell a woman, if someone tells her something better than what you told her,
she will abandon you. 
24. If your vehicle breaks down woman will jump out, watch you repair it, then afterwards she will
come in and enjoy the ride.
25. Woman enjoys retaliation and revenge.
26. Woman becomes wise @40
27. Ordinary animal, snake deceived woman in the Bible, some people say it was Satan that enter the
snake, that's a big lie,read that chapter, Satan was not mention.
28. Woman likes jollying.
29. Woman is fashion conscious. 
30. Woman is material conscious.
31. Woman wants you to marry her completely so she can have right over your property, when you
divorce her, she will go with 30 or 50% of your wealth. There is no truly born again woman.
32. Woman cannot do anything perfectly without the help of a man.
33. Woman enjoys telling lies.
34. If you don't take rubbish, please learn to take rubbish before you get married, because woman is
full of fun rubbish.
35. Woman like cheating. 
36. Woman is a perfect pretender.
37. Bible says you should not give yourself to woman otherwise she will destroy you. ( proverbs 31 vs 3)
38. Woman is shameless. 
39. Woman will cause problems between you and your blood relatives
40. Woman take things for granted.
41. Woman finds it difficult to say sorry.
42. Woman finds it difficult to say I love you.
43. Woman doesn't believe she has to love her husband.
44. Woman is easily angry.
45. Woman hardly forgives and forget.
46. Woman can store more than 200 phone numbers in her brain.
47. Woman likes attention. 
48. Woman likes gift so much.
49. Woman has no respect.
50. Woman can be very insulting.
51. Woman has shallow understanding.
52. To woman visitation is a business, she expects package whenever she visit your house.
53. Woman is very greedy.
54. Woman likes public opinion.
55. Woman don't like an intelligent man, she likes a man she can cheat.
56. If woman cannot kill you, you are a strong man indeed.my guys in the house is it true?
.
.
But all said and done woman still brings you into this world:..

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Wednesday, 15 July 2015

Name this Caption



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Friday, 10 July 2015

Helen Paul Now An Ambassador Of Harpic Toilet Cleaner


Nigerian comedienne, Helen Paul-Bamisile has been unveiled as the face of its Harpic toilet cleaner.

This was done at a ceremony in Lagos on Wednesday which marked the beginning of the Harpic All in One Toilet Solution Campaign.

“To have been chosen as the face of Harpic among the galaxy of stars in Nigeria is humbling and encouraging,” an excited Helen said.

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Saturday, 4 July 2015

This Is What Happen In Our Beloved Country



Caption this yourself.



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Friday, 5 June 2015

#LaughItOff,Started From The Bottom


#LaughItOff,Started From The Bottom

This will surely remind you of something.
Lol!! Na this kind girls dey form posh when dem grow



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See This Hilarious Conversation Between A Man & Mother



Is It Not Very Funny



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Friday, 15 May 2015

OMG! Check out Nigerian Women in 1922


Check out the hairstyles! Fashionistas! Photo credit: SeeMeSeeNigeria

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Saturday, 25 April 2015

See What This Woman Is Doing To Her Child?

See What This Woman Is Doing To Her Child?

They say what will a mother not do for her child. See this picture of a mother breastfeeding in a toilet. Child hungry, Mother Pressed... Motherly Love In Motion


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Thursday, 23 April 2015

Lindsay Lohan Called Herself A Donkey




Lindsay Lohan Called Herself A Donkey

In the journey for profundity, Lindsey arrive in a desperate predicament. 

Lindsey Lohan who has been dropping some profound quotes on Instagram made an enormous fumble as of late that has abandoned her resembling an ass (exculpate the quip). The on-screen character set up a photo of an Arabic expression and under, an English interpretation, "You're beautiful". Shockingly for her, the interpretation for that expression is really "You are a donkey".





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Tuesday, 21 April 2015

Hilarious: 20 Types Of People You Meet In Lagos Commercial Buses

Hilarious: 20 Types Of People You Meet In Lagos Commercial Buses


1. The Perverts 

These ones cannot be placed in a particular age bracket. They span from young to old. You find them mostly in BRT's and Molue's. (Our ever happy standing committee crew)

They are always looking for an avenue to stand behind anything FEmale and "tap current" (in their minds, age is just a number smiley ). Like my padi Albeto2k go talk, "Konji na bastard". grin 

The last one I experienced was on a BRT. I was relaxing when all of a sudden the elderly woman standing beside me shouted at the elderly man standing right behind her "Oga hold dat thing ooo, nor let am touch me again" grin

2. The Toasters 

These group have this particular track by Iyanya ft Don jazzy "Gift", on repeat mode in their head. They are constantly looking for anything in skirt. Their sole mission is to find out what is underneath it. grin (Orijin101 how far nah? grin)

Once they are about to board a bus, they scan very well and locate the prettiest chick on the bus, if nah only guys dey dere, dem go just wait for the next available bus. smiley

3. The Religious 

These ones have been banned on BRT buses since its inception, so you would find them mostly in the regular 14seater buses, Molue's etc.

The moment the bus is about to move you would suddenly hear a loud shout, enough to give a hypertensive person an instant cardiac arrest. grin

There are a particular set that never seize to amaze me. You find them on most public transports with a jersey (you know them naa smiley ). I have noticed a couple of times that the date of the program on the "jersey" are past. 

4. The Sarewagba's 

Literally translated: Run, come collect. smiley

These ones are always advertising their goodies. They wear all sorts of micro mini (The type wey Ronald4lif dey sow for yankee grin), leggins, tank tops wey nor be their size and all manner of clothing that exposes something just to lure their preys. 

You don't want them sitting in front of you, else they expose the crack of their bum for your viewing pleasure. You don't want them sitting beside you either, else they keep rubbing your shoulder with their massive milk factories. grin

One more thing if you find one sitting in front with the driver and you love your life come down SHARPALY!!. grin

5. The Sleeping Crew 

These ones ehhnnnn!! Infact they can sleep till rapture. grin. Once the bus starts moving them don dey sleep. Their sleeping pattern can make you laugh till you pee on yourself. smiley

You don't want to meet or have the chronic types sitting beside you. They nod, snore and drool. The only time they wake up is when they hit their forehead on the metallic surface of the backrest in front of them. 

Twaci u sef dey this committee ooo. She slept only to wake up after her bus stop to shout "Ewo!!!!" . You are not alone dear, me sef enrol in this committee today. I slept off few metres to my bus stop only to wake up at the next bus stop. I trek so tey I con dey swear for all my enemies. grin 

6. The Ignoramus 

These folks would appear so cool you would hardly notice how clueless they really are. After the bus has covered a few kilometres, you would hear them asking the person beside them; "Bros, Abeg shebi na Ikeja this bus dey go?" 

The person would be like "Nooooo!!, na Abule Egba this bus they go ooo". Like Aunty Twaci dem go come shout "Ewooooo!!! Driver stop, stop, stop, make I come down" 

Hehehehehe grin

7. The Yokozuna's 

I hope we all haven't forgotten that WWE sumo wrestler? Well except you were born in the era of justin bieber. grin

These group are majorly the extremely obese market women. Choii!! You don't want to find yourself anywhere close to them. They are partly members of "The Sleeping Crew" and the stench from the sweat trickling down their body can make you nauseous instantly. 

These ones would occupy half of the seat leaving the other three passengers to compete for what is left. Their usual slogan is "Make una shift nah". 

8. The Aproko's 

While these ones are not so ubiquitous, you are sure to encounter them once in a while. Pull out your phone and start typing and their long necks would be right above your shoulders with their bulging eyes fixed on your screen. 

They are constantly evading passengers privacy with their long necks as though they are expecting a back alert on your phone. 

Mtcheeeeeeeeeeewww!!!

9. The Staff's 

We all know them. grin Our Men in black, but most times in mufti when assuming this role. No need for another epistle here. 

10. The Happy Family 

Have you ever been in a hurry and waiting patiently for the bus to get full and all of a sudden God answers your prayers, a family of 7 just shows up (Father, Mother and 5 Children). 

Your face glows at the thought of the bus taking off soon, only for the family of 7 to occupy just two seats and then say "Aunty abeg make dis my pikin manage for your side". grin

11. The Beggars 

These ones never have enough money to get to their destination. They get into the bus and after a few minutes they tap you and say; "Aunty, please help me add N50 to this money"

If they are not successful at this they form tough face and each time the conductor asks for money, you would hear; "Conductor this place too tight, I nor fit comot my money". Only for them to get to the bus stop and...... 

Well you know the rest. smiley

12. The Instructors 

Mostly women who have no idea what downshift of upshift means nor have any clue as to what the function of the clutch is. 

They always seem to be experts at tutoring the driver on how to drive well. You would here things like; "Driver move to the fast lane naa" , "This driver too slow, see as him dey drive like learner" cheesy

13. The Story Tellers 

Loquacious would be an understatement to describe this folks. When you meet them on a bus, you would assume everyone on the bus is their family member. They are always carefree, cracking jokes and have a repertoire of never ending tales. (Most of which na ZOBO grin). 

I love meeting them sha, they keep the bus lively especially in traffic. 

14. The History Keepers 

These ancient keepers tend to be in their 70s and above. They are always ranting about the good old days before independence. They would talk about the colonial era down to this democratic dispensation. 

They are the only ones who bought peak milk for 2shillings and witnessed the death of Muritala Muhammed. Infact the most infuriating thing about these folks is that when you talk they are quick to shut you up with statements like; "What do you know?", "Keep quiet my friend", "Listen to me...", etc

15. The Consumers 

These folks are astounding individuals. They always seat close to the window of the vehicle. Don't get it twisted, its not really about the breeze.grin 

They are gluttons in disguise, chilling to unleash their monstrous appetite on anything that they come across. They keep buying and swallowing, from gala, to puff puff, chin chin, plantain chips, cake, pop corn, Fan Yogo, kunu, zobo, etc. 

They won't stop munching and drinking till they get to their bus stop. These ones can finish 1Million Naira inside a bus. grin 

16. The Thieves 

They come in different shapes and sizes, ranging from young to old. Their mission is simple, they sit beside you and your wallet, phone, and any other valuable becomes history. smiley

I had an experience with one sometime ago. He sat beside me for about 10mins and highlighted from the bus, before I could say Jacksparrow1207, all I had left was my charger. sad

17. The Grammarians 

You know them already, the likes of Wole Soyinka, Chinua Achebe, Patrick Obahiagbon, etc. They appear on NL with moniker's such as TheSonOfMark, Borrusia, etc. smiley 

They always appear quiet, but if you like yourself and want to live long to see your great grand children, please don't taunt them. Else what would be left of your self-esteem would be worse than a cadaver. grin

You would hear something like "You must be sardonic, lugubrious, to orchestrate such diabolical plot of pseudoclassic mesmerism". grin 

18. The "Gbagaun" Specialist 

They are not hard to find, as a matter of fact you find them on almost every bus. Well each time I encounter them, I pray a simple prayer to God saying; "Lord please seal his lips with spiritual adhesive". grin

If these folks are not properly managed their gbagaun can deflate all the tyres. If I venture type one of the gbagauns here, NL server would immediately start experiencing issues. grin

19. The Silent Fart Machines 

Very difficult to detect, as usual they are not limited to a particular age group. These folks have been sent through time to make your time on the bus miserable. sad

They produce these deadly gases at intervals and are the first to raise alarm and cover their nostrils to wade off suspicion. 

Make Una Fear God ooooooo!!!!

20. The Customer Service Reps. 

You know them already, high heels, flashy dresses, designer bags, heavy make ups, etc. Once they get inside the bus their phones starts ringing. 

Most times I think they purposely skip the intro "Welcome to the blah blah Call center...." and get straight to the point in "resolving customer complaints" smiley . 

These ladies keep talking for as long as they are seated in the bus comfortably. Every other person murmuring or mumbling at their incessant phone calls can GO AND DIE IN THE LAGOON. grin

SOURCE: NAIRALAND.


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Sunday, 30 November 2014

Funny!!! Kim Kardashian’s Booty Is Turned Into A Rice Krispy Treat


Kim Kardashian broke  the Internet with her classic “Break the Internet” Paper Magazine cover Here.
Talk about creativity! Who would have thought that Kim Kardashian’s behind could be recreated into a cereal sculpture, that would leave her fans wanting a bite.
New York based food artist, Jessica Siskin has created an outstanding and tasty

Wednesday, 27 November 2013

LADIES: If your boyfriend propose to you like this, would you accept? [FUNNY PHOTO]

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Lol! Will you? Would you? Can you? - accept?


 Cheap Phone deals this Christmas


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Tuesday, 26 November 2013

You think you know the lyrics of 'Khona' song? See this...

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Lool! Everyone sings Khona Khona but very few of them actually know the lyrics to the song. Those who do not know the lyrics follow the format above. Wrong?


 Cheap Phone deals this Christmas


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